Good-Bye August! Hello September!

WhooHoo!!!! They finished August! China sent out referrals this morning for the rest of the August LIDs. That's 10 days worth of files! 10 more stones out of my waiting jar and 10 days closer to meeting my baby Grace! It is a great feeling to know that they will now be starting to work on September files. Come on September! Let's get this party started!!!

Look at this thing! It's practically empty!

St. Patrick's Day Antics

I'm finally getting around to posting some pictures from my great March Break last week. The weather was fantastic and I took full advantage by being outside every day at some point. Lunch out with my neighbours, bowling with the niece and nephews, lunch with friends and of course St. Patrick's Day. St. Patrick's Day was a hoot this year as always with my Irish and Irishwannabe friends! See below for proof!

New Season of Mad Men

A new season of Mad Men is starting tonight! I can't wait! I've been hooked on the show ever since I accidentally started watching an episode one day last summer. I'm an early riser by nature and I just happened to turn on the TV one Sunday morning at 6 a.m. and there was the very first episode, the series premier of Mad Men starting. I had heard about the show and thought I may as well check it out. Well, it turns out I loved it and have been waking up at 6 every Sunday morning to watch past episodes. However they haven't had a new season in almost 2 years I think. I'm all caught up now and am eagerly waiting for 9:00 to come so I can sit down and watch the season premier! I've got the popcorn ready, pjs on and a blanket to curl up with. It doesn't get much better than this!!!

Frogs in March???

It's so quiet on the China side I think I can hear crickets chirping! Actually I think it is the frogs with this unusually warm weather. It seems a little early for those frogs to be peeping so loudly but I guess they are excited about this extra warm spring too! There is nothing to report on referrals yet, it seems to be taking forever this month or is it just me!!?? :) On the upbeat, if China is taking longer to match than we all thought, maybe they are getting lots of referrals ready and we'll see September referrals this month!!!! A girl can dream, can't she??!

Speaking of the frogs, they are out in full force already. And so are the mosquitoes! I went for a walk with a friend last night after dinner and the sound of those frogs was loud!!! I had left my car windows open and spent the 20 minute drive home swinging my arms, swatting all the mosquitoes in the car! Drivers passing me must have wondered what was happening. Maybe they thought I was bopping and clapping along to the radio!! LOL It seems so odd to be wearing shorts and sandals in mid-March but I'll take it whenever I can! I love summer!

And now onto other good news..... I received an email from my agency yesterday, sending me my travel and referral packages!!!!!!! Full of exciting information about everything I need to know for when my referral arrives and when I am preparing to travel to pick up my daughter. Even though I was kind of expecting that information to be sent soon, when I saw that email and attachment, it sort of hit me... hey, this is really happening! Holy FrogSymphony Batman, I'm going to be a mom!!!!

Blogging 101

Mini up-date: Thanks to my friend Catherine who made it even easier for you to access the new January post. She kindly sent me instructions on how to provide a link for you. Just click on the blue words: here it is. I'm just learning so much writing this blog, I love it!! Thanks Catherine!

So, I've finally updated my profile for those interested. It's on the righthand side of your screen. I've also added a post to the beginning of January, one that I had started a while back but didn't finish until I wrote my updated profile. If you want to check it out, here it is. For those new to reading this blog, and I know there are quite a few of you, you can use the archive to read right from the beginning as well. If you wish to view the comments or leave a comment, just click on the comments icon at the bottom and write. Feel free to comment as often as you like, I love hearing from everyone! As well, I have changed the comments setting to allow anonymous comments. That way you won't have to sign up for any account anywhere to be able to post. Even though I have set things up so that I moderate the comments before they are published, I would greatly appreciate it if you left your name at the end of your post. I want to be able to thank you or curse you personally!

Waiting

Well, it's Monday morning in China and people at the Adoption Affairs offices will be busy at work by now. Will we see notices today about the next cut-off date? Will they finish August? I keep thinking about a baby waiting quietly somewhere in an orphanage in China, oblivious to what is about to happen to them, unaware of how their life will be changing in the next few months. I think about the family who might be getting news today, completely aware of what is about to happen to them but oblivious about how their life will be changing in the next few months. And then I think about me, planning and dreaming of a family for years now and a waiting baby, somewhere in China, who has no idea they are waiting for me. Soon that waiting baby will be coming home to my family. Soon, what's that? I only wish I knew.

Welcome Robin, Welcome Spring!

Good morning! Notice came out this morning that the China Centre is beginning to prepare paperwork. Time to climb back on the roller coaster again. Let the ride begin!

As an aside, I saw the first robin last week, March 4 to be exact! And you know what that means! Spring!!!!!!! Unfortunately it was during a terrible wind storm and the poor thing was holding on for dear life, huddled in the grass against a tree in in my front yard. This week however has been glorious and I'm sure that robin is happy now! Be excited about the renewal spring brings and enjoy these surprisingly warm sunny days everyone!

The Tipping Point

I am on pins and needles right now. There has been no news for a couple of weeks now and it's killing me!! This month will truly be the tipping point in regards to me knowing more closely when I will receive a referral. I know we September Log-in people say that a lot, but in this case it is more true than ever. What China determines to be the cut-off date this month, the number of referrals they complete, the number of days they process, will all tell me a lot about when I can expect to see a referral. If they finish all referrals for August, and they should since there is no one logged in again until the end of August, things will be on track, continuing as expected. If China chooses to stop part way through the empty dates, then this year's quota is definitely a much bigger slowdown than we even anticipated. It has been suspected that each year for over 5 years now, China has decreased the amount of referrals they will allow in any given month or year. However the number of files being submitted each year did not decrease at the same rate, creating the slowdown and an incredible backlog of files. So while they may have allowed a certain number of adoptions last year, there will be considerably less allowed this year. That is basically why the wait continues to get longer, the longer I wait. So frustrating for me, so sad for children who will never be matched with a forever family.

Kids are Kids, no Matter How They Get Into Your Family

I came across an interesting article in the Star.com this week. There has been ongoing discussion in the Federal Government about inequity in terms of EI leave between adoptive parents and birth parents. Here is the link if you have a minute to read it:

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/politics/article/1139384--commons-committee-urges-help-for-canadian-adoptive-parents-but-no-extra-leave

Adoption Leave. 35 weeks. Maternity Leave. 50 weeks. Something in this feels wrong to me. Not just because I am adopting, but because kids are kids, no matter how they get into your family. I fully understand the rationale behind the difference. Pregnant women who give birth need time to recover from the physical act of giving birth. But what about a child who has been taken away from everything they know in their birth country. Every sight, smell and sound that is familiar to them are now replaced with new sights, smells and sounds. What about the child who has witnessed violence and abuse and still at the age of 10 cannot sleep through the night alone? The toddler who has never experienced a care-giving person care-give to them? What about the rights and needs of these children? Might they need a little extra time to adjust and recover as well? Would they benefit from a stay at home parent for a few more weeks?

The article explains the situation best but I would like to leave you thinking about a few lines taken from the piece.

“The needs of adoptive parents are every bit as legitimate as those of biological parents, and in fact, many adoptive families need extra time to bond with their children due to circumstances such as international adoption or the adoption of a child who has special needs,” said Cuzner in a news release.

“An adoptive leave E.I. benefit would ensure the equal treatment of adoptive families.”

"Many witnesses stated that adoptive parents need more time to adjust, recover and bond with their adopted children,” said the report. “The need for more time is so crucial that some witnesses explained that they had to take an unpaid leave and face economic challenges in order to meet their responsibilities as adoptive parents. Many witnesses suggested that the federal government should create a new benefit that would provide for an extra 15 weeks of leave.”

Equal treatment between Adoptive families and Birth families. Wouldn't that be nice?

Gotta Find the Silver Lining Where You Can!

I'm so excited! I recently went to a Parental Leave workshop offered by my school board. And although I was definitely the oldest woman in the room (including the presenter!) it was still so exciting to be sitting in a room full of expectant parents, and finally being one of them! I found out some interesting information regarding my leave which will work in my favour I hope, allowing me to start my leave in September. Because adoption leave is shorter than maternity leave, 35 weeks as opposed to 52 weeks, if I started my leave in June or July when I travel, I would use up a good portion of my leave during a time when I am already on vacation and wouldn't be at work anyway. So, the good news is, it appears I can start my leave later, in September, giving me the full 35 weeks. Finally something goes my way! :) Since only a few months ago I thought I would be travelling now and things have slowed down even more, this is a little silver lining to the extra bit of waiting! Gotta find it where I can!

The Agony and the Ecstasy

Still waiting for news on the next set of files being matched and referrals being sent. Waiting for news this month feels like torture. It seems like it is taking forever. It's not, it just feels like it! China only sends out referrals about once a month, but not quite, sometimes it's longer than a month between batches, for a total of 10 or 11 batches a year. So I know in my head it is still too early to expect to hear rumours about the next batch, but I can't help checking the website every morning and night, just in case. This next set of referrals will tell a lot I hope. They finished with August 21 last month and there is no one (we think) with log-in dates for the most of the remainder of August, until about August 28th or 29th. So.... they should be able to finish August with this next set of referrals. And you all know what comes after August don't you?? SEPTEMBER!!!!!! And that means me!!!!!!! September has a lot of people logged in so it is going to be a slow trek, we may see only some 1 or 2 day batches over the next couple of months, but at least I will still be moving closer to my date.

At church this morning, the priest talked about the agony and the ecstasy of daily life. It really struck a chord with me. I feel like this whole journey has been an experience in agony and ecstasy. Each day feels like that! What the wait has done to me emotionally and then the excitement of what is to come. The agony of small batches or skipped months with no referrals and the surprising excitement of big batches with lots of referrals. The wait of not getting things ready too soon and the excitement of panicking about not being ready. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster at an amusement park and can't get off. Somebody stop the ride!!! I'm ready for something quiet like the swan ride!

Ah, the life of a student...

So, as I mentioned my nephew S. came up last weekend to my parents to enjoy his week off school. While up here, he claims sole custody of the TV and PVR and watches every show you can imagine a 20something man to watch. He sleeps late, walks the dog, doesn't have to agree on TV choices with his brothers, beats my parents at card games, helps out my dad a little around the house or at work, but mostly just relaxes. Oh to have some of that life back!

He and I went out to Swiss Chalet for dinner Friday night. I really like spending time with each of my nieces and nephews. They each have such different and interesting personalities and I feel so lucky to be close with each of them. Everyone is busy these days and I don't see any of them as often as I used to, but it makes the times I do see them that much more special.

Saturday my sister and nephew A. came over to pick up S. and bring him back to reality. My other sister, L. came by also with her fiance and the three kids. There was a full house of swimming and monopoly and hockey games on TV. Lots of fun!

On Sunday, I hosted a get together with my SMC group, which stands for Single Mothers by Choice. We had a busy afternoon, swimming at my parents' pool and feasting on snacks and treats. I've known some of these women for several years now and it's been great watching their children grow up.

8 years

8 years ago today I started this process of adopting from China. On February 22, 2004, I attended an information session for my agency and started the ball rolling.

I became a member of the organization and was put on a call-back list for singles. At that time, China was accepting a limited number of single women into their adoption program. The waiting list at that time was full for the next few years. So I waited about a year on the call-back list in order to get on the waiting list. Then I spent a year on the waiting list before I could apply to adopt. I then spent 6 months completing paperwork and then the 5 1/2 years of waiting I have done officially logged into the program.

The information session was in Burlington and I remember having dinner after the session with a friend who lives in Burlington. She asked me if I was sure that this was what I wanted to do. To look back on that conversation almost makes me laugh. Oh, what I didn't know then! What I didn't know about adoption, inter-racial adoption, attachment, Chinese culture, the process, the waiting, parenting. Maybe 8 years from now, I will look back over this post and almost laugh. Oh, what I don't know yet about adoption, interracial adoption, attachment, Chinese culture, the process and waiting, parenting.

Wow. 8 years. Where does the time go? I guess I should be wishing myself Happy Anniversary???

Family Day Weekend 2012

I had a great Family Day weekend. My parents and I went to Peterborough to visit my sister and her family on Saturday and Sunday. My nephew A. was in the pit band for his school play, Peter Pan. The school did a great job on the play, having the main characters hanging by wires, flying all over the place! We had a relaxing visit with everyone in the afternoon before the performance Saturday night.

After getting home from the play, of course there were several card games to be played. Who needs sleep when you have cards to keep you awake??! Sunday after church, we had a huge feast of waffles and the boys and I played an engaging game of Settlers of Catan. It's a great board game that I hardly ever win but I love that game!

Sunday afternoon, my sister and I went out shopping at HomeSense where I got a great light fixture for the baby's room. Here is a picture of the white version, although I got it in pink :)

Cool eh?!

All in all, a great weekend for family activity! And the best part was that S. my oldest nephew came home with us for the week. He has Reading Week so he's off school. S. and I went to a movie Monday afternoon, Safe House. Great movie, a little intense. S. being here for the week means only one thing.... more cards! Yeah! We played euchre after getting home from Peterborough and then another game or two Monday night. I can't wait to beat him again! I wonder if he's still up?

Pancake Tuesday! Yum!

Pancakes! Can you ever get enough of pancakes??!!! Well apparently you can.

I had pancakes for breakfast at school yesterday, then another pancake for snack at first recess, the junior kindergartens brought me pancakes they had made in the afternoon and then dinner..... you guessed it, pancakes!!! My mom hosted a lovely dinner of pancakes and bacon with fruit and whipping cream.

What a feast! It was great, but please no pancakes today.

And We're Back...

The Wait. It is what it is. Everything will happen in its own time. It's all part of God's plan. I've waited this long, what's a few months/years more? I won't let one bad month get me down. This long wait will be worth it in the end. The pain of the wait will all fade away once the baby comes.

These are just some of the many explanations I force upon myself when the wait gets hard. I know God has a plan for me, I trust it and I know it will happen at exactly the right time according to God's plan, I just wish I knew when that was!! Because I have plans of my own I need to attend to! Like painting a baby's room, and planning a trip to China!

The Wait. It is what it is and I will live with it, I just won't always smile through it. Thanks for understanding that and letting me have my moment. I'm better now and will now post about my wonderful Family Day weekend and PANCAKES!

cut-off Aug 21

It has been confirmed that the next cut-off date for referrals is Aug 21, 2006. That hurts. A lot. It is barely a handful of families world-wide and I can't contain my disappointment in such a small batch of referrals this month.

I, along with everyone else in the China adoption circle was hoping that the 10 days of no one logged in during August would make a difference, forcing China to refer a large number of days. China however, has a different perspective and will not alter from their contrived slow-down of the process. This exact disappointment, this handful of referrals, has happened on this journey more times than I can count and it stings every time but the closer I get to seeing my baby's face, the harder the disappointing months of waiting become.

I know I sound bitter right now but I feel blindsided and frustrated and angry and it will take a few days to re-group. I will come back to my excitement and happiness about this journey, just not today.

YIKES!!!

Spanish Rumour Queen, who is someone I presume in Spain, who keeps track of China' s referrals and adoptions and reports them on her blog, has reported that she is expecting "Big News" from an agency today. YIKES! I'm freaking out! The suspense is making me crazy! On an even higher note, someone in my facebook group who has a Sept 1 LID has been told to get ready, they may be seeing a referral in February! Like I said, YIKES!

?? What does it mean??

At least one agency is reporting that they are optimistic about this next set of referrals. The tension builds. What could that statement mean? A large number of referrals???? I certainly hope so!

The Process

I've had some requests to explain the process in a little more detail. I forget sometimes that not everyone knows the whole process like I do and that you don't understand what I mean when I refer to batches, referrals, LIDs, etc. So here it goes.

The Homestudy Process

Before sending paperwork to China, one must complete the homestudy process and receive approval to adopt from the provincial government. I did this for the first time in March of 2006. It involves lots of paperwork, forms, police checks, and interviews with a social worker. I had friends and family members who wrote letters of reference for me and eventually I had a report completed by my adoption practitioner and it was sent off to the Ministry for approval. I got that approval in July 2006. My niece F. was there to hear the phone message and happily relayed the news to my mom as soon as we walked in the door at Grandma's house.

After that, I chose an Adoption Agency and compiled a dossier, which consisted of all the additional paperwork that China requires. I had it translated into Chinese, and sent it to China in August 2006. Several weeks later, I received a Log-in Date, the date which China received and logged my file into their system. This does not mean China has given you approval, but that you are now in line for review by the Centre for Adoption Affairs.

The Review Room

The place in China where adoptions are handled is called the Centre for Child Welfare and Adoption Affairs. Basically, there are two main sections or "rooms" at the centre, the Review Room and the Matching Room.

In the Review Room, my dossier was reviewed by officials who are looking for certain criteria. Apparently I met the criteria because I passed! Each adoption agency has their own review person. They know how to put a dossier together based on how their review person wants to see it, and based on the things their review person will approve or deny. Periodically, China will update and post on their website as to how far they have reviewed. Right now they have reviewed files logged in up to Nov. 30, 2010. The process is a little more complicated than I describe here, but you get the main idea of how you receive approval from China.

Once your file is out of the Review Room, you commence THE BIG WAIT. There is not a whole lot more to do at this point except wait for China to match your file with the file of a baby, and as I now know, that can take a long time. My file left the Review Room sometime in early 2007 and is waiting to make it over to the Matching Room! Come on file, go! go! go!

The Matching Room

About once a month (but not quite), the people in the Matching Room begin the matching process. They look for something that stands out: a matching birthday, a baby who looks a lot like a parent, or a baby who likes music and a parent who teaches music. Several matching people have stated they match by bone structure of the baby’s face and the parent’s faces (this is why they need our passport photos) Some have stated that they used Chinese astrology, also.

Once all of the files have been matched, they send out word to the agencies that matching is complete and referrals are on their way. The referral is the paperwork for a match between baby and parent. This is the most exciting moment of the month because waiting families from all over the world receive referrals and information about their baby at the same time.

At this point, you accept your referral, prepare a whole bunch more paperwork, have it translated into Chinese, and request approval to go to China to meet your child.

This is simplified version of the process, some of it borrowed from Rumour Queen, I hope she doesn't mind the copyright infringement!

Old Friends and New Beginnings

Beginnings and Endings. Each one comes with a story. You must have an Ending in order to have a Beginning, am I right? I am getting ready for a New Beginning, life with a baby. Does that mean I need to have an Ending? My life was pretty good. I had everything I needed, except maybe a new kitchen. I don't know if I want that to end. But I very much want the New Beginning. Do I need to have an Ending to have a New Beginning? I'll keep thinking about this. I'll let you know when I have it figured out.

I got together with some old friends last night. Well, I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate being called "old" but you know what I mean! All friends from university, I had lost touch with them for a long time over the years. They have been much better at keeping in touch with each other than I have been with them, not for any reason other than life just takes over and keeps me busy. It was great to see them again and I hope I can stay better in touch.

We met at the mall and did some shopping and had dinner. Apparently February is THE MONTH TO SHOP for winter clothes. It was fun to watch them try on all sorts of clothes and come away with great bargains. I even picked up a few things for Grace that were on mega-sale. I felt happy and excited to come home with my little stash!

What struck me funny however, was that as we were catching up, they were sharing stories about their kids, all of them in school, some high school, none of them little anymore. Here I am, getting ready for a baby and here they are looking forward to their kids going off to high school and university! I've thought of this scenario quite a bit over the past five years and how my life with a baby will be much different than that of my same-age family and friends. I worry. Will I have enough energy for a baby at my age? Will stories of baby's first step and first words be interesting conversation to people who are talking about paying for their child's university? Will I be able to stay in touch with people who no longer need to plan ahead for a babysitter? I just worry. It's who I am.

Someone quick, please post and tell me that it will be ok and I will survive it all!!!!

Back to Work and Preparing to Match

Well, it appears everyone is back to work in China after their New Year's holidays and Spring Festival.

The CCCWA (Chinese Centre for Child Welfare and Adoption Affairs, the government organization responsible for facilitating international adoption) has announced that it is preparing to match. This means they are preparing paperwork for the next set of referrals where they will match a family's file with a baby available for adoption.

Woo-hoo!!!! Let the rumour ride begin!

Matching?

Rumour Queen posted yesterday that matching may have begun. Maybe.

Years ago, there were rumours galore about when the CCCWAA (the Chinese Centre for Child Welfare and Adoption Affairs) may have started working on the next set of paperwork and referrals. For days, I would receive updates about matching and referral date cut-offs. It was exciting and nerve racking at the same time. People would speculate on how many days China would match, who would receive their referrals, etc. When referrals would finally start to arrive each month, it was a long list of people and everyone would be celebrating.

Now, there is nothing. If we get a day or two of "heads up, something may be coming" that's it. Referrals seem to arrive out of the blue, with little or no warning, and the list of families announcing a referral has dwindled to only a handful. Great for those people who will now become a family, a little anti-climatic for the rest of us waiting. It was fun to get caught up in the excitement. Now we just wait. And wait and wait and wait.

The Waiting Jar

When I first started this process, in March 2006, China was processing 30 or more days worth of files each month. The woman from the agency said to "get ready, because after I submit my paperwork, I should expect to have the baby home within 7-8 months." 7 months later, my paperwork was complete, fingerprints done (I'm not a criminal by the way), house inspection passed and my file was logged into China on September 13, 2006. At that point China had slowed down a little (unknown to me) and was processing about 20 or more days worth of files a month. So, I thought to myself, it would take a little longer than I thought, maybe even a year and a half. No big deal. At that time they were finishing up July 2005 but still I thought, there were less than 400 days worth of files/LIDs ahead of me. Really not that much considering they completed almost a month (20 or 30 days) at a time. I know all this information now, years later, but at the time when I submitted my file, I was very green about the whole process, like most families were, and had no idea how the whole Log-in date/referral thing went.

Almost immediately after I was logged in however, referrals slowed to a crawl with sometimes only 1 or 2 days worth of files being referred each month. The wait stretched out and increased exponentially and it went on forever with no end in sight. I wanted to give up and I needed something to give me hope.

The only light was that even though the movement was painfully slow, it was moving. Every month files were being referred and people were being matched with babies. Families were created.

So, in October, 2010, when China got down to the last 100 days ahead of my date, Sept 13, I started the waiting jar. It is simply a jar filled with 100 stones. Every month I take out as many stones as there have been referral days. So for example, this month I took out 5 stones, representing from August 10 to 15th.

Here is what my jar looked like 15 months ago, filled to the top with 100 stones:

Here is what my jar looks like now:

It give me encouragement to see how far I've come.

I can't wait till it's empty.

Up to August 15

The Chinese New Year festivities continue! Last night I treated my niece and nephew to a feast at the Mandarin. They had lots of special treats available to celebrate the new year and I think we tried them all!!!! D. especially enjoyed the desserts!! Is 4 plates of dessert ever a bad thing?? I'm not sure there were any left for the other customers!

Tonight I am off again to celebrate with the families in my town who have adopted from China. We meet at a local restaurant and have a good time. I will be inviting them to check out the blog too!

So referrals came out last week for LIDs up to August 15. It's so exciting to see all of the people reporting receiving their referral package and when I check out their blogs, the pictures are so adorable!!! The families are so over the moon when they send out their news.

Like I said previously, this is a very small batch of referrals however, it seems to me this is becoming the new norm. Every time I think I am a step closer, I fall two steps back. That being said, I am still 5 days closer to receiving my referral!!! There are now only 29 days left between this batch and my Log-in date (Sept 13). Even if they keep up this incredibly slow pace of 5 or 6 days worth of files a month, I am still looking at a late spring referral.

In the places I go on the internet to check out information, there is much talk about a gap in LIDs (Log-in dates) in August. Apparently there are no files (or very, very few files) logged into China for 10 days at the end of August. This is good news! It's good news because it means The Centre for Adoption Affairs in China has no choice but to process many days at once at some point. So I may soon see a great surprise jump in days referred. I will keep you posted on that! My friend and her husband are LID August 29, so they are getting extremely close, especially if they suddenly jump from the 19th to the 29th! If this post is not making sense to you, refer to one of my very first posts in January where I explained how the referral process works. My sister checks out Rumour Queen and has asked that I provide a little glossary of acronym terms and explanations as well. I'm working on that and will get it out soon.

PS. I am QUITE impressed with myself that I figured out how to put in pictures on my blog. You have no idea what an accomplishment that is for someone as computer stunned as me. And I didn't even need help from my nieces and nephews!

Kung Hei Fat Choy!

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! The year of the dragon, a powerful mythical creature that according to my research on the ever-so-reliable wikipedia represents an emperor and power in ancient China. Today, it is the ultimate symbol signifying success and happiness. May this year of the Dragon bring great success and happiness to you. I feel confident it will for me. I read in my zodiac horoscope that I will experience life-altering changes in the upcoming year. Whatever could they mean??? LOL!

I have been celebrating Chinese New Year in mildly entertaining ways over the past couple of days. Saturday afternoon I went to a local Asian restaurant with two friends for lunch. I gave the chopsticks the old college try but had to give up in order to finish my meal at the same time as my friends! Saturday night was my dad's birthday and he and my mom as well as my aunt and uncle came for dinner. A big feast of ribs to celebrate the big day for dad!

To celebrate New Year's eve Sunday night, I treated myself to Chinese take-out and practised my chopstick skills once again! From the amount of food that falls off I have a feeling I will be very hungry in China! Oh well, I will probably be too busy chasing a baby around to eat anything anyway. From what I've read on peoples' experiences who have been there, done that, people either love the food in China or detest it and can't wait to get back home to their own food. I consider myself a very adventurous eater so I hope I will fall into the "love" category.

As I close off the night, I think about my daughter, a baby girl whom I have never even met yet. I'm hoping she is part of a happy day, a feast, a party, celebrating with people who care about her. Happy New Year baby girl! This will be our last year apart I'm sure!

No Referrals yet...

Will referrals be sent out this week? It's already Thursday and no word yet on the next set of referrals. We usually hear from Europe first as they receive their referral calls sometimes a day before the rest of the world. The cut-off date seems pretty secure at August 15th. A little disappointing but sometimes China follows that with a great big batch the next month. I can only hope!!!! I'll be checking the Rumour Queen site several times today I'm sure!

I have friends whom I met at an adoption workshop back in the fall, who left for China on January 4 to meet their daughter. I keep wondering how they are doing and whether they are back yet. I am hoping everything went smoothly and as planned (I'm sure it didn't, whatever big life moments do?!) I will share some details of their adventure when I hear from them. I am sure they are exhausted and swamped with adjusting to a new baby in the house! Myself, of course, still working on those report cards!

Referrals Coming this Week?

Lots of activity on RQ (Rumour Queen) today about the next cut-off date being August 15. 5 days is 5 days but it is a very slow progression and only a handful of families. I am a little frustrated and disappointed with the 15th if it turns out to be true. It pushes my referral back more and more each time China falls short on the number of Log-in days they refer in a month. Oh well, it is what it is at this point so I guess I just need to stay positive. I'm still 5 days closer to buying that airplane ticket!!!! Now, back to report cards!

ok, I see the font size is the same so now I don't know what to do. Maybe if Kristin is reading, she can give me a suggestion??? She seems to know the whole social networking thing!

No Rumours yet

No real reason for this post except that I wanted to figure out how to make the font size larger for us old folks reading. I have been fooling around with the settings and I think I see how to do it but the only way to check is to post something, so here it is!

I checked Rumour Queen this morning and there are no rumours yet about the next cut-off date. I am getting anxious because I want to see referrals come out before Chinese New Year, which is this coming weekend. So far this year China has sent referrals out very regularly each month, which is a great improvement over the past few years. While they don't exactly come once a month (it happens more like every 30-35 days or so) I don't think they have skipped any months this year and sometimes they have surprised everyone and sent them out earlier than expected. Someone out there can correct me if I'm mistaken on the skipped month thing. The only rumour I have seen is for August 15, not a huge amount of days, only 5, but I'll take it, one more step closer!

My computer is not working well at all right now so I am heading off to school to work on reports. That means I actually have to get dressed today, ugh.

I now have 4 members to my blog, all family! Welcome and Yeah!

Thanks Ladies!

It's been a busy weekend with report card preparation and get togethers. Saturday afternoon I met with a group of women who are all single mothers. We chat on a yahoo group often and have regular get togethers. I have known some of them for several years now, since I started my own journey to motherhood, and we laughed yesterday about how we will need to have a big party when my referral finally happens. I met them when they had newborns and now their children are going off to school! How time flies! I also met with the China Waiting Mommies group last night for dinner. This is a group of women who have all adopted. It started out as mostly women adopting from China but has grown to include other countries as well. I have really gotten to know them well over the years and everyone is really excited that my referral is coming soon. There is one other woman in the group who has waited it out like me. Her Log-in date, or LID is August 29, so she and her husband expect their referral a couple of months before me. The two of us had fun last night chatting about how we will decorate the baby's room, what we need for travel and all the cute outfits there are for little girls. Dinner was great like usual and dessert was even better!!! These two groups have been a great support for me over the years as the wait stretched out to six times what it was supposed to be and I don't know where I would have been without them! Thanks Ladies! I gave everyone an invitation to my new blog, so hopefully they will be able to follow along too. I had found this great paper with paper lanterns on it, kind of Chinese looking and red envelopes. My big plan was to take my blog info to Staples and photocopy it for them on this great paper. Staples however, does not allow you photocopy on anything but their own paper so I ended up sticking a few stickers on plain white paper and giving it out that way. Sort of like the ones I handed out at Christmas that went on plain white paper as well!! I have good intentions of making it fancy, it just didn't work out that way! Ok, enough procrastinating, back to report cards!

Let the Rumours Begin!

I checked Rumour Queen this morning and she posted that China is "organizing paperwork and getting ready to match." Whoo-hoo! This is good news because it means referrals will be coming soon! Just before referrals happen, rumours abound about how many days will be referred and who will get "the call." Further to my previous post, each month China matches and refers several files from families around the world. It takes them sometimes several days to organize paperwork, several days to match the files and then usually within a day or two of matching, referrals are sent out to the various adoption agencies. This is the moment a family will "get the call" from their agency, meaning they have been matched to a child and will now receive information about that child. Sometimes it is a few days between when you get the call and when you receive pictures and information and from what I hear,this time in between is the slowest passing of time you can ever imagine!

Rumour Queen is a website, actually called www.chinaadopttalk.com where I get most of my information about referrals and a wide variety of adoption issues. Rumour Queen is the "name" of the woman who manages and writes the blog/site. She has two children who were born in China and she is a wealth of information for me. I check the site every day, sometimes more than once around referral time.

Ok, off to work now before I'm late! Just like China, I will be organizing paperwork this weekend as it is time to start writing report cards soon!

Happy New Year and back to work

Happy New Year to everyone! Oh dear, I haven't been very good at keeping my new year's resolution so far. A whole week has gone by and this is my first real post! Yikes! I promise I will try to post as often as I can. I wanted to take a moment to thank my nephew Matthew and his friend Kristin for helping me set up the blog. I probably never would have gotten to it if I hadn't forced them into helping me, so thanks guys! Sean was there too with a few words of wisdom from the sidelines!
For those that aren't familiar with how the China adoption process works, I will post in the next few weeks some information about that, but basically once my paperwork was approved and sent to China I received a log-in date, which for me was September 13, 2006. Yes, that's almost five and a half years of officially being in process so far. I've actually been waiting since February 2004. Because I was single, I waited an additional couple of years on a waiting list before I could even start the process, since China has a limit to the number of single women it will allow to adopt each year. So, patience has become my closest friend, you could say!
About once a month or so, China will process and send out referrals to waiting families. A referral means that they have matched a family's file with a child who is available to be adopted. Generally this is done chronologically, according to the date of log-in, and as of now, they have processed files that were logged in up to August 10, 2006. So that means, there are 21 days left in August plus 13 days in September to process before I receive my referral, 33 days in total. That doesn't seem like much to me (when I started there were well over 300 days ahead of me!) but unfortunately they only refer a few days worth of files each month, so 33 days could still take a while. More about this process at a later time.
They almost always send out referrals just before Chinese New Year as it is custom to clear away old work and start fresh in the new year, so it is expected that referrals will be sent out again in the next couple of weeks. It's an exciting time as everyone speculates on how far they will refer and who will finally get to see their child's face for the first time. So, as I head back to work this morning in our North American new year, I look forward to a fresh start with my students, and wait patiently for the next set of referrals, bringing me one step closer to meeting my daughter.

Starting the Journey in the Middle

Well, here it is, the start of my journey to motherhood. Well, sort of. The actual beginning started many years ago. It started in my heart as a dream. A dream of being a mom. So I began the journey by starting the adoption process. At first it was exciting and I dreamt every day about the new addition to my life. But the months of waiting turned into years of waiting and I wasn't able to start this blog because for several years after the beginning, there was really nothing to tell. Now here I am, finally nearing the end of this long journey. The beginning of the End. So begins my Red Thread Journey to Grace, not quite at the beginning, not yet at the end, but sort of in the middle.

Finally...

Finally, Suzanne starts a blog! For those of you that know me well and have journeyed with me for the past five and a half years, you will recognize the humour in that statement. I have talked on and off about starting a blog for the past five and a half years and every New Year's it has been my New Year's resolution to start one. Since this is hopefully my last New Year celebration without my daughter, I had no choice but to make good on my promise! So here it is, my adoption blog, a place where I can share my thoughts and excitement as I prepare for motherhood and probably the biggest life change I will ever experience. I hope you enjoy getting to know me and following along as I journey to Grace. Happy 2012!