Our First Forever Family Day

One year ago today I met the most beautiful girl in the world and she became my daughter.  I am amazed every day by the changes I see in her and my heart bursts with love for her. 

I've been sitting here for almost an hour, checking facebook, responding to emails, do some things for work.  I know I need to post today, it's a really special day for Grace and I.  I just don't know what to write.  The feelings are too strong, the emotions too overpowering, that I can't get it into the right words.  I suppose I should start by thanking God for bringing Grace into my life, and while I think it privately every day, I don't say it out loud often enough. You know us Catholics, strong faith but not so good at evangelising!!!!  So, for now, I will just post the facts and maybe over the next few days I will come up with a way to write about it eloquently. 

Today was my first day back at work and Grace's first full day at day care.  We've been visiting several times over the summer and it has gone well but today was the true test.  She would be expected to sleep there.  I dreaded the phone call I was expecting.  "Suzanne, what's up with this kid???  Why won't she sleep?"  But it never came.  Instead I received a text while I was in the middle of a meeting.  I raced across the room to grab my phone and from Grace's care provider it said, "Grace is doing great.  She ate her whole lunch and is now sleeping.  She couldn't have had a better morning!"  Tears of relief came into my eyes as I thanked God she was able to sleep in her new environment.  I so hope tomorrow goes just as well!

Here's Grace at our front door.  She looks so happy here.  You would never know that Brenda had to pry her off my leg in order for me to go to work!

Arriving at Brenda's door, still looking optimistic....  I can't bear to show you what happened next! 

More importantly however, was the fact that today is Grace and I's first anniversary as a family.  It was one year ago today that I stood in a hot crowded room at the Civil Affairs office in Nanjing, China, watching as an orphanage worker brought Grace through the doors.  It was not a Hallmark moment I can assure you.  It was hot and loud and confusing for both Grace and I as people were moving about, talking to me, handing me her little pink Barbie backpack full of everything she owned in the world.  But it was our moment, and just like a woman giving birth, it was loud and messy and confusing but it was beautiful and I will remember it forever.  Here we are in our first moments as a family.

The first moment we met!

"Who the heck are you???"

Still not sure about this new family

I told you it wasn't a Hallmark moment!!!!

Signing the papers to make the adoption official and final.  Grace being my little helper!

Day 2 and the first smiles.....

One of Grace's nannies signing her book

That first night back in the hotel room.  Look how tiny she is!

Sharing pizza, Sept 3 2012, sharing pizza, Sept 3, 2013

Today we honoured the day with dinner with my parents (take-out pizza, a treat!).  My parents brought Grace and I a beautiful Rose of Sharon tree.  After dinner, Grandpa dug the hole (yeah for Grandpa!!!!  I have many many rocks in my soil and it's a chore and a half to dig a hole!  I'm so glad he offered!!!!LOL) and Grace and I planted the tree.  As a gift, I gave Grace the book I had brought to China with me from home, Love You Like Crazy Cakes.  While in China I had the officials at the Civil Affairs office and her nannies from the orphanage sign the book.  I wrote a special message for her too.  I had also bought a fork and spoon set from the Beijing Zoo which I gave to her tonight as well.  As soon as Grandpa and Grandma went home it was bedtime for Grace.  She fell asleep in my arms and I held her for an extra long time tonight, thanking God and just loving her.

Grace, always the little helper!!!!!

Pulling rocks out of the hole

Grace, getting Grandma's vantage point from the top of the climber

Overall a busy, long day and I think I'm not far behind Grace in getting to bed tonight!



  

10 Things I Miss

Tuesday will mark one year since I first held my daughter in my arms.  That day was crazy.  It was hot and loud and busy at the Civil Affairs office in Nanjing.  I didn't feel overly well, still a bit jet-lagged and my body was adjusting to the new foods and climate, but what a day it was.  Holding a screaming, crying baby while trying to sign paperwork and at the same time listening to someone explain in broken English, all of Grace's information and schedules.  Most of the day was a blur.  Grace and I will celebrate our first Forever Family Day on Tuesday fairly simply as it is my first day back to work, probably just dinner and a nice dessert with my parents, however, as I get closer and closer to the anniversary of our first day together, I think about how my life has changed.  I've said it several times here before, I can no longer remember my life before Grace nor imagine my life without her, but that's a bit of a lie because I do remember my life before Grace.  It's a distant memory but there are many things I remember about being a single woman living on my own and I even miss some of those things.

Here are some of the things I miss from my life before Grace.

- drinking hot coffee
- cooking an actual meal
- eating an actual meal
- wearing make-up
- eating in front of the TV, even getting to watch TV
- wearing nice clothes, heck, wearing clean clothes
- talking on the phone to friends, strangers, enemies, telemarketers, whoever
- peeing alone
- not having to entertain someone on the other side of a shower curtain, all the while trying to hold the shower curtain closed with one foot while showering at breakneck speed
- having a whole bed to myself
- not having to stop 3 times on the way up or down the stairs, just because
- getting out the door in 10 minutes if I need to
- eating in nice restaurants with friends
- Barbequing my dinner -  it 's too dangerous as a single mom to a curious toddler

I miss every one of those things, sometimes I miss them a lot.  I had a really good life before Grace.  But believe me, I have an even better life after Grace.

Sitting on a Plane

One year ago at this moment I was sitting on a plane, half way between my old life and my new life.  I was full of anticipation, adrenaline, fear and overall excitement about what lie ahead for me.  With only a few photos and doctors' notes to prepare me, I anxiously waited as the plane brought me closer and closer to my new life as a mom to Grace.  I had no idea what I was in for, sitting on that plane.  I imagined quiet, calm days where Grace and I would cuddle and read books together.  Instead I got a firecracker of a girl who is always on the go, full of hugs yes, but only for a moment as there is always something else to explore.  I imagined having all this "free time" because Grace would sleep from 7 till 7 and would nap for two hours a day (it really did say that in the notes!!!LOL). I just imagined.  And none of it has turned out as I had imagined but wow, has it ever turned out great!

Birthday #3 and Finally the Birthday Celebrations are Over!

This morning during our "milk and coffee" time, I explained to Grace:  "Honey, just so you know, we won't be celebrating your birthday like this every year, having three parties with cupcakes and cake and special get togethers throughout the whole month of August.  It's happening this year, but really sweetie, it won't be like this every year."  She just laughed and climbed down off my lap to play.

Family Birthday Celebration
Today my family came over for a BBQ to celebrate Grace's birthday.  Finally "birthday month" is over and this will absolutely be the last birthday party this kid gets this year.  Seriously, 3 celebrations!!!???  I'm kidding really, as this was our first chance to get together as a family since the wedding.  My brothers and sisters have been in Ireland and Colorado and along the Trent Severn and even up in Yukon and Northwest Territories.  Finally everyone is back home again and we were able to take some time to relax, eat outdoors and celebrate Grace's first birthday in our family.  
I love seeing the kids running around the backyard, wearing themselves out!  The older nephews practised their soccer skills or kick boxing or whatever skills, kicking apples across the field while baby K and Grace spent their time chasing my sister around on the grass.  Everyone got fed, thanks to Eddy's BBQ skills and the evening ended with cake of course!!!!  After everything you're going to see in the photos following this post, you would think my girl would have crashed immediately, but no, no, no!  Grace chose to toss and turn and have me stay in her room to keep her company till well after 9:00.  Does that mean she will sleep in tomorrow morning??!!!

K-man dumping everything into the pool!!

action shot!

An August Full Moon

A full moon tonight.  I remember very clearly the full moon last August, right about this time.  I was finishing last minute preparations of Grace's room, packing for China, shopping for coming home and overall just rushing around.  But I very clearly remember that full moon.  It was hot and I sat outside on the deck late that night, watching the full moon, thinking about my upcoming motherhood and a child who I had yet to meet face to face but already knew I loved.  I had sent a picture book to Grace's orphanage in China weeks before I would get there, with my voice recorded, reading the story.  I had to record it a few times because my voice kept breaking, it was such an emotional experience.  The story was about being under the same moon, even though we are on opposite sides of the world.  A beautiful story about wishing two people could be together.  I wrote a post about it, you can find it by clicking here.  It's so strange to think back to that time.  I've been thinking about it a lot recently, my time just before Grace.  It was such an exciting time, so full of anticipation.  Now, here we are, almost a year later and it's so hard to remember what it was like to not be up half the night, to get up early and have a quiet coffee on the deck, to be out late.  I miss it, yes, and am currently working on some writing about that, but, one thing I know for sure, being a mom trumps it all!

Pie! Oh My!!

It's hard work getting that piece of pie onto a fork!  You gotta concentrate!  Here's Grace enjoying her first Church Supper.  She ate her own pie and then chose to "share" with Grandma.  Whether Grandma wanted to share or not was irrelevant!!!

Mmmmm Ketchup!

Today my daughter discovered the pleasure of ketchup.  Yummy.

It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want to.....

So I hosted Grace's "friends party" on Saturday, which really just means a party for my friends who have young kids, and for those friends who were there and are reading this, you know exactly why I titled this post the way I did.  Grace had a fantastic time.  For the first half.  Then she fell asleep and woke up grumpy.  Poor thing was inconsolable.  Until the cake came out and happiness arrived once more for Grace!!!!!

Here's how it went:  True to her Gracey self, she did not nap well before the party.  I blame it all on the propane guy.  I needed to fill my propane tank so that we could BBQ the hot dogs, so I drove all the way across town to the place I knew that had propane.  Something was up with their phone system or whatever it is you need to process credit cards and it was chaos inside the convenience station store, people searching for cash to pay for gas, people angry, it was a scene.  I quietly wait my turn in line, all the while, Grace is getting closer and closer to her nap time.  He finally gets to me and says he'll be out in a minute.  Well, one minute turns into 10 and Grace is now really in need of a nap.  I don't want her to fall asleep in the car, because I had last minute stuff to do at home and needed her to sleep at home!!  The propane guy tells me my tank is too old, he can't fill it, something I had suspected but was not worried about because the sign outside the door says "New Propane Tanks Available Here."  So I ask for a new tank.  He doesn't have any, tells me I have to drive to Walmart or Canadian Tire or somewhere like that and buy one myself first.  Both of those stores are at least ten minutes away.  If I drive there, Grace is sure to fall asleep.  I consider what people might think if I just boiled the hot dogs even though the invitation clearly said Barbeque.  Would they notice?  I decide I had better make the drive to Walmart and get a new tank.  In the meantime, I am singing, clapping my hands, tickling Grace's head, doing everything I can do to keep her awake.  My efforts were fruitless and she fell asleep on the way back to the Petro Canada.  So Grace slept soundly as the guy filled the tank and I drove home.  A 20 minute errand had turned into almost an hour.  I slowed to a crawl as I came in the driveway but, alas, it was not meant to be.  Grace's eyes popped open and there it was.  I could almost see nap time flying out the car window.  She smiled (because now she's had 20 minutes of sleep and feels refreshed!!!) and started babbling to get out of the car.  So to end this long drawn out saga, that's how it came to be that Grace had a great time at the beginning of her party, then crashed at 4:30 in my arms.  

Enough about my troubles, now on to the party!!!  It was a lovely afternoon and the kids had a blast running around the yard, chasing each other, pulling kids in the wagon, playing with the toys and eating junk food.  Grace did wonderfully, mingling with the kids.  She showed them our raspberry patch and the kids went to town finding all the ripe berries.  Grace is getting more and more confident every day and I love it.  Everyone got fed and enjoyed a drink or two and then the cake came out.  As you can see in the video below, Grace liked being within "dipping distance" from the cake at all times.  She enjoyed her own cake, yes, but liked to be able to dip into the main cake once in a while too.  Too funny!!!!

Thanks for barbequing Steve!!!

Someone had to take a little break from all the partying!

I want some cake from this side too!

The Morning After Party......