10 Things I Miss
Tuesday will mark one year since I first held my daughter in my arms. That day was crazy. It was hot and loud and busy at the Civil Affairs office in Nanjing. I didn't feel overly well, still a bit jet-lagged and my body was adjusting to the new foods and climate, but what a day it was. Holding a screaming, crying baby while trying to sign paperwork and at the same time listening to someone explain in broken English, all of Grace's information and schedules. Most of the day was a blur. Grace and I will celebrate our first Forever Family Day on Tuesday fairly simply as it is my first day back to work, probably just dinner and a nice dessert with my parents, however, as I get closer and closer to the anniversary of our first day together, I think about how my life has changed. I've said it several times here before, I can no longer remember my life before Grace nor imagine my life without her, but that's a bit of a lie because I do remember my life before Grace. It's a distant memory but there are many things I remember about being a single woman living on my own and I even miss some of those things.
Here are some of the things I miss from my life before Grace.
- drinking hot coffee
- cooking an actual meal
- eating an actual meal
- wearing make-up
- eating in front of the TV, even getting to watch TV
- wearing nice clothes, heck, wearing clean clothes
- talking on the phone to friends, strangers, enemies, telemarketers, whoever
- peeing alone
- not having to entertain someone on the other side of a shower curtain, all the while trying to hold the shower curtain closed with one foot while showering at breakneck speed
- having a whole bed to myself
- not having to stop 3 times on the way up or down the stairs, just because
- getting out the door in 10 minutes if I need to
- eating in nice restaurants with friends
- Barbequing my dinner - it 's too dangerous as a single mom to a curious toddler
I miss every one of those things, sometimes I miss them a lot. I had a really good life before Grace. But believe me, I have an even better life after Grace.
4 comments:
beautifully spoken and so true
Hi Suzanne,
I too am a single mom to an 8 year old. Each time I read your posts, I think of myself, my experience... I love following your story!
I can so relate to what you wrote!!! Slowly, as they get older, things get easier (we think) HA!!! They just get different. So worrying about entertaining a 2 year old through the shower curtain, will transform into will she be okay all day without me; waking up at 1am and thinking will she remember what to do in case of an emergency when she is sleeping over at a friends house; will she remember not to talk to strangers on the school outing; how will she react to bullying.... The worries are always there - they are just different!!!
Things will never ever be the same as my mostly worry-free 34 years before my daughter, but I'm so grateful about that!! I never ever want to go back to a day pre-motherhood. Yes, I miss the alone time now and again (mostly when I'm exhausted because of work), but that's why God created grand-parents/firends/babysitters; yes, I miss having a good footcare; but that's why Spas were created; Yes, I miss speaking on the phone without interruptions; thats why values and respect were established - teaching them to our little ones are just as important;
You will miss some of these things for a little while longer, your daughter will grow and you will soon be able to drink your coffee while still hot and speak on the phone... :) And as I think, I may only have 10 more years of this (she's 8) - so I'm enjoying each little bit of it as I can!!!
So as I still cannot pee alone more than 50% of the time, I do get a good food massage and pedicure now and again curtesy of my daughter (we do each other)!!
Life is just perfect!!! Keep up the good work!!!!
Diane, mom to Lea-Jade
Happy almost-Anniversary! I can't believe it's only been a year. Good luck to back to school on Tuesday, hope to meet up soon!
Nilia
Sorry to be so long publishing your comments. For some reason they are not showing up in my inbox so I didn't know they were there. Thanks for the great words of encouragement Diane and yes, I expect that the things I miss now may not be the things I miss 5 years from now and 10 years and 20. Life carries on whether we are ready for it or not!!!LOL
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