Mother's Day 2012

I've debated a little for the past few days about composing a Mother's Day post.  Not because I don't have anything to say (I know you're wondering when does that ever happen??) but because my feelings around this Mother's Day are so personal I wasn't sure how much I wanted to share out loud.  The feelings I have around having a child already living somewhere out there, but not knowing him/her yet, the feelings I have for a birth mother who felt the only viable option for her was to relinquish her child to someone else and that someone else is going to be me, are all very complex and emotional and sometimes overwhelming.  This blog however, has been a great place for me to sort out my feelings and fears about motherhood and my upcoming adoption so why stop now.  Plus, I cherish my friends and family that come here to read my blog so here it is, just a few of my thoughts on Mother's Day, 2012.


Dear Grace,
I'm thrilled that this will be my last Mother's Day without you.  I feel a tingling in my stomach every day now, an excitement that I can't contain, knowing I am so close to finally seeing your face. Although you didn't grow in my body, you have grown in my heart.  I have thought about you every day for years now and it both hurts me and excites me to know that you are already a growing little girl somewhere in China.  I worry and hope that someone is taking good care of you while you wait for your forever family, me!  I worry and hope that your birth mother will somehow know that you will be loved, not just by her but by me as well.  Soon you will be coming to a new home and starting a new life with me and even though you won't have a clue what's going on and may be a little unhappy about the whole ordeal, I will be very excited about becoming your mom.  I can't wait to meet you! 
  
Love, Mommy