Finally, I'm in the First Column

Ahh, the sweet satisfaction of being in the first column!!!!  These are the projections for this coming month's referrals from China put out by a woman in the States, known as Rumour Queen, who keeps track of everything related to international adoption.  Each month Rumour Queen, whom I've referred to quite a bit here, puts out projections for the next set of referrals.  She examines the data from past months, how many days worth of files were matched, how many families that included, etc. and uses the information to make an estimate of when the next set of referrals will come out and how many days/files China will match.  Some months it makes sense that only a few days will be matched because there are large numbers of families logged in on those days.  Some months there should be several days worth of files matched because there are hardly any files logged into China (funny, this never seems to happen though!).  This information is what I use to gage when I might receive my referral.  If you look on the left side you will see the upcoming months.  Remember China only matches and mails the referrals once a month or so.  The columns to the right are Rumour Queen's (RQ's) best guess.  If things continue according to this past winter 2012's pattern, I will receive my referral in June, if things go a little better/faster like they were last winter 2011, I will receive my referral in May.  However, as I've found out with this process, things can always get worse and if they do, I may be delayed until July.  You can see from the chart that it is projected that I will just make the cut-off with my Sept 13 log-in date.  If China does not finish as many files as they have been lately, they won't include the 13th and I will be waiting yet again.  But at least this time it will only be an extra month.  I know it's a little complicated to follow but thought I would try to explain why I know but don't know when I will receive my referral.  I won't even show you the other statistic charts that look at number of families logged in on each day, how many days were covered each  month.  It just gets a little mind boggling!!!  All I know is, it will happen soon!  If you want to read more about the process and how it has all unfolded from the start, I wrote about it in more detail here. Just click on the link (blue word "here") and it will take you to my earlier post.

Good Baby Day!

Good Baby Day today!  I finished registering at Babies R Us today and I have pictures of a great glider for the baby's room I found on sale at a consignment shop (it's pink gingham check and beautiful!) and I finished shopping for my secret September pal for our cyber baby shower (see last week's post for details) and I picked up my hanging baskets at a farmer's market in the Holland Marsh.  I usually make my own but really these were a good deal and I knew I would be kinda busy this spring!!! :)  Ok, so the last one is not really baby related, but I love to garden and can't not mention the good deal!

Baby Showapalooza!

This weekend was busy! Friday night I was in Hamilton at a funeral visitation with some colleagues.  Saturday I had two baby events to go to as well as a concert with my sister and her husband.  So here are the details....

First thing Saturday morning, I went to a Mom-to-Mom sale at the local community centre.  There were lots of goodies to look at and buy.  This whole boy thing has got me a little freaked out so I held off on buying any clothes but it was fun to look.  After that, I met up with my friends Tammy and Rhonda and their husbands at the Baby Show in the city.  We had a great time looking at all the newest gadgets for baby.  My goodness, you can certainly outfit a baby in style these days.  There were strollers and high chairs there that looked comfortable enough even I wanted to lounge around in them!  I held off on buying too many new items but  I did get quite a few freebies.  Here's a picture of me coming home with my loot!

I had made ID cards for the girls and I that had an ultrasound picture with a map of China in the middle of it, since our children are waiting to meet us in China instead of our bellies.  Here's what it looked like, cute, huh?!

Saturday night I went to see the Skydiggers with C and R.  This was a great band that we saw a lot of during the 90's in and around Toronto.  It was a little nostalgic and brought back some fond memories.  As always, C and R were great hosts and made me feel welcome, thanks Sis!  Sunday, after church, C and I went to the garden centre for the first time this season.  I plan to really scale back on plant buying this year but I picked up a few new selections that I will baby for a couple more weeks until it is warm enough for them to be outside permanently.  After that, we indulged in a few card games.  I just want it on record that my nephew S and I won all three games against C and R...  Not that I'm competitive or anything, I'm just putting it out there as a little FYI for the rest of you!  LOL!!!

What if It's a Boy???

OK.  So, what if it's a boy?  I hadn't really thought much about that possibility until now.  And now, I'm freaking out.  What if it's a boy???  I love boys, don't get me wrong.  I have 7 nephews and I love every one of them.  It's just that I've had my head around a girl for so long now that I don't know what I'd do if I was referred a boy.  This last batch of referrals from earlier this week had some surprises in it.  There were a few boy referrals (not impossible from China, but still somewhat unusual) as well as some babies that were quite a bit older than usual (up to 3 years old).  So now, I'm thinking, what if this happens to me?  Will I be ready for it?  Will I be prepared mentally for such a different scenario than I've imagined for the past 8 years?  While I know it's still not likely,  I have to prepare myself for the possibility that I may have a son instead of a daughter.  What will I call him?  I haven't even thought of boy names really.  It's different and it's gonna take some getting used to.  I hope he likes pink!!!

Let's Get This Party Started!

Well, September has started!  I couldn't be more excited!!!  Referrals came out today for people logged in between September 1 and 4, 2006.  That's the first September referrals and it feels great!  4 more stones out of my Waiting Jar and 4 days closer to my own referral.  For the past 5 years it has felt like this day might never come where I see people in my month getting referrals.  I don't even know them personally but I feel like I do because we've supported each other through Rumour Queen and other online sites for a long time now so to hear their good news is like hearing good news about an old friend, someone who you may no longer keep in close contact with but are happy for them just as if you had spoken yesterday.

Onto other exciting news, people from my September group are organizing an online Cyber Shower to help us celebrate our referrals.  I've been matched up with a woman in the States (I don't want to reveal too much in case she reads this blog!! Shh!)  We're going to purchase gifts and surprises for each other and send them by May 20.  It's so exciting to think about this group of people from all over the world, brought together through adoption, feeling a connection and receiving gifts from each other.  I'm hoping we can find a way for us to set a time to open them all together while we are online.  I don't know if that will work because the poor souls from Europe or Australia may not appreciate opening gifts in the middle of the night!  Anyone have suggestions about how we might be able to swing that?  Maybe we'll just have to post pictures of us opening our gifts?  Either way, it's prompting me to register at Toys R Us this week.  I'm not hugely comfortable with gift registries for a few reasons, I did not think I would do it, but being that my gift buddy doesn't really know anything about me or what I like/need, etc I thought I should at least give them a starting point.

I wanted to add music to this post, maybe something a little "party-like" (I'm thinking,  "I'm So Excited" by the Pointer Sisters) because I'm so excited that they have started referring September files.  However I don't know how to do it.  I don't want a video necessarily, just background music. Anyone that can help, can you shoot me an email or comment here to get me started?

Suzanne x2

Sorry to be so long posting since Easter.  Apologies to my friend Lisa, who has been waiting for a new post for days now!  Work, home and just general life gets busy sometimes!  Nothing really happening adoption wise at the moment, although there is a rumour today about organizing paperwork in China.  That means referrals are being prepared and they will hopefully send out news of the next cut-off date soon.  I am hearing rumours of Sept 5, 2006 files being completed.  I hope so, that means 5 more pebbles out of the jar...

We had a great family get together last weekend.  My cousin Suzanne and her husband Tim came over from Michigan for a visit.  Spent the whole weekend gabbing and catching up.  I wonder how we don't run out of things to say to each other but it never happens!  Here are the highlights, hiking with my sister and Suzanne, and the rest of the family, my nephew having a ponderous moment (whatever that is!!) Family fun!

Today's thoughts

And that's all I have to say about that.

Easter 2013!

Happy Easter 2012 everyone although I can't wait for Easter 2013! Spent the day with family: Church, hiking through the forest, swimming and having a big turkey feast. I asked the kids when they arrived at my parents, who had chocolate for breakfast, and D. announced that was all he had eaten all day so far!!!!! :) Good for him, you're only young once!

Not that I'm wishing my life away but I can't wait for next Easter! I feel grateful that this will be my last big holiday without my little one. I spent the day imagining next Easter, putting on her bunny pajamas (that are already waiting for her in the closet!), hiding treats in the most obvious places for her to find early in the morning, dressing up in a cute spring dress for church (already waiting in her closet!), and celebrating with family.

Here is a picture of my sweet baby's Easter pajamas for next year. They were so cute with bunnies all over them, I couldn't resist, and the little jacket is adorable. It was a hand-me down but we'll see if it still fits next year. The bunnies are from the various years I've been waiting. The small purple one will go into my care package to China after I receive my referral. The big brown bunny has the year 2012 on it's foot. I thought that was sort of poignant since I will finally meet my daughter in 2012 however she will most likely have been born in the Chinese year of the rabbit.

An update about my friends Tammy and Mike. They received information about their daughter this past week. She is from Kunming City, Yunnan province and was 7 months old on April 3. She is adorable and they are incredibly happy! Congratulations to both of them!

News tomorrow for friends?

I am anxiously waiting for news tomorrow about my friends Tammy and Mike. They are with the same agency as me with a Log-in date of August 29. They received word that they have been matched with a referral but have not gotten any information yet about the new little addition to their family. They hope to receive photos and other information tomorrow or Tuesday. I can't wait to see the baby's pictures. I'll bet they won't sleep a wink tonight waiting for news.

I have begun thinking about the things I want to send to China in a care package when I receive my referral. It's sometimes possible to send a package of useful and playful items to the orphanage ahead of time, before I arrive to pick up my child. A blanket that I've slept with for awhile, a stuffed animal, a book with my recorded voice are some of the ideas I have. I found the recordable books the other day at Hallmark and had to hold myself back from buying one. They are so cute but a little expensive! I will have to choose carefully.

Below are some pictures of March Break bowling with the nieces and nephews! I am so bad at bowling but it's fun.

Good-Bye August! Hello September!

WhooHoo!!!! They finished August! China sent out referrals this morning for the rest of the August LIDs. That's 10 days worth of files! 10 more stones out of my waiting jar and 10 days closer to meeting my baby Grace! It is a great feeling to know that they will now be starting to work on September files. Come on September! Let's get this party started!!!

Look at this thing! It's practically empty!

St. Patrick's Day Antics

I'm finally getting around to posting some pictures from my great March Break last week. The weather was fantastic and I took full advantage by being outside every day at some point. Lunch out with my neighbours, bowling with the niece and nephews, lunch with friends and of course St. Patrick's Day. St. Patrick's Day was a hoot this year as always with my Irish and Irishwannabe friends! See below for proof!

New Season of Mad Men

A new season of Mad Men is starting tonight! I can't wait! I've been hooked on the show ever since I accidentally started watching an episode one day last summer. I'm an early riser by nature and I just happened to turn on the TV one Sunday morning at 6 a.m. and there was the very first episode, the series premier of Mad Men starting. I had heard about the show and thought I may as well check it out. Well, it turns out I loved it and have been waking up at 6 every Sunday morning to watch past episodes. However they haven't had a new season in almost 2 years I think. I'm all caught up now and am eagerly waiting for 9:00 to come so I can sit down and watch the season premier! I've got the popcorn ready, pjs on and a blanket to curl up with. It doesn't get much better than this!!!

Frogs in March???

It's so quiet on the China side I think I can hear crickets chirping! Actually I think it is the frogs with this unusually warm weather. It seems a little early for those frogs to be peeping so loudly but I guess they are excited about this extra warm spring too! There is nothing to report on referrals yet, it seems to be taking forever this month or is it just me!!?? :) On the upbeat, if China is taking longer to match than we all thought, maybe they are getting lots of referrals ready and we'll see September referrals this month!!!! A girl can dream, can't she??!

Speaking of the frogs, they are out in full force already. And so are the mosquitoes! I went for a walk with a friend last night after dinner and the sound of those frogs was loud!!! I had left my car windows open and spent the 20 minute drive home swinging my arms, swatting all the mosquitoes in the car! Drivers passing me must have wondered what was happening. Maybe they thought I was bopping and clapping along to the radio!! LOL It seems so odd to be wearing shorts and sandals in mid-March but I'll take it whenever I can! I love summer!

And now onto other good news..... I received an email from my agency yesterday, sending me my travel and referral packages!!!!!!! Full of exciting information about everything I need to know for when my referral arrives and when I am preparing to travel to pick up my daughter. Even though I was kind of expecting that information to be sent soon, when I saw that email and attachment, it sort of hit me... hey, this is really happening! Holy FrogSymphony Batman, I'm going to be a mom!!!!

Blogging 101

Mini up-date: Thanks to my friend Catherine who made it even easier for you to access the new January post. She kindly sent me instructions on how to provide a link for you. Just click on the blue words: here it is. I'm just learning so much writing this blog, I love it!! Thanks Catherine!

So, I've finally updated my profile for those interested. It's on the righthand side of your screen. I've also added a post to the beginning of January, one that I had started a while back but didn't finish until I wrote my updated profile. If you want to check it out, here it is. For those new to reading this blog, and I know there are quite a few of you, you can use the archive to read right from the beginning as well. If you wish to view the comments or leave a comment, just click on the comments icon at the bottom and write. Feel free to comment as often as you like, I love hearing from everyone! As well, I have changed the comments setting to allow anonymous comments. That way you won't have to sign up for any account anywhere to be able to post. Even though I have set things up so that I moderate the comments before they are published, I would greatly appreciate it if you left your name at the end of your post. I want to be able to thank you or curse you personally!

Waiting

Well, it's Monday morning in China and people at the Adoption Affairs offices will be busy at work by now. Will we see notices today about the next cut-off date? Will they finish August? I keep thinking about a baby waiting quietly somewhere in an orphanage in China, oblivious to what is about to happen to them, unaware of how their life will be changing in the next few months. I think about the family who might be getting news today, completely aware of what is about to happen to them but oblivious about how their life will be changing in the next few months. And then I think about me, planning and dreaming of a family for years now and a waiting baby, somewhere in China, who has no idea they are waiting for me. Soon that waiting baby will be coming home to my family. Soon, what's that? I only wish I knew.

Welcome Robin, Welcome Spring!

Good morning! Notice came out this morning that the China Centre is beginning to prepare paperwork. Time to climb back on the roller coaster again. Let the ride begin!

As an aside, I saw the first robin last week, March 4 to be exact! And you know what that means! Spring!!!!!!! Unfortunately it was during a terrible wind storm and the poor thing was holding on for dear life, huddled in the grass against a tree in in my front yard. This week however has been glorious and I'm sure that robin is happy now! Be excited about the renewal spring brings and enjoy these surprisingly warm sunny days everyone!

The Tipping Point

I am on pins and needles right now. There has been no news for a couple of weeks now and it's killing me!! This month will truly be the tipping point in regards to me knowing more closely when I will receive a referral. I know we September Log-in people say that a lot, but in this case it is more true than ever. What China determines to be the cut-off date this month, the number of referrals they complete, the number of days they process, will all tell me a lot about when I can expect to see a referral. If they finish all referrals for August, and they should since there is no one logged in again until the end of August, things will be on track, continuing as expected. If China chooses to stop part way through the empty dates, then this year's quota is definitely a much bigger slowdown than we even anticipated. It has been suspected that each year for over 5 years now, China has decreased the amount of referrals they will allow in any given month or year. However the number of files being submitted each year did not decrease at the same rate, creating the slowdown and an incredible backlog of files. So while they may have allowed a certain number of adoptions last year, there will be considerably less allowed this year. That is basically why the wait continues to get longer, the longer I wait. So frustrating for me, so sad for children who will never be matched with a forever family.

Kids are Kids, no Matter How They Get Into Your Family

I came across an interesting article in the Star.com this week. There has been ongoing discussion in the Federal Government about inequity in terms of EI leave between adoptive parents and birth parents. Here is the link if you have a minute to read it:

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/politics/article/1139384--commons-committee-urges-help-for-canadian-adoptive-parents-but-no-extra-leave

Adoption Leave. 35 weeks. Maternity Leave. 50 weeks. Something in this feels wrong to me. Not just because I am adopting, but because kids are kids, no matter how they get into your family. I fully understand the rationale behind the difference. Pregnant women who give birth need time to recover from the physical act of giving birth. But what about a child who has been taken away from everything they know in their birth country. Every sight, smell and sound that is familiar to them are now replaced with new sights, smells and sounds. What about the child who has witnessed violence and abuse and still at the age of 10 cannot sleep through the night alone? The toddler who has never experienced a care-giving person care-give to them? What about the rights and needs of these children? Might they need a little extra time to adjust and recover as well? Would they benefit from a stay at home parent for a few more weeks?

The article explains the situation best but I would like to leave you thinking about a few lines taken from the piece.

“The needs of adoptive parents are every bit as legitimate as those of biological parents, and in fact, many adoptive families need extra time to bond with their children due to circumstances such as international adoption or the adoption of a child who has special needs,” said Cuzner in a news release.

“An adoptive leave E.I. benefit would ensure the equal treatment of adoptive families.”

"Many witnesses stated that adoptive parents need more time to adjust, recover and bond with their adopted children,” said the report. “The need for more time is so crucial that some witnesses explained that they had to take an unpaid leave and face economic challenges in order to meet their responsibilities as adoptive parents. Many witnesses suggested that the federal government should create a new benefit that would provide for an extra 15 weeks of leave.”

Equal treatment between Adoptive families and Birth families. Wouldn't that be nice?

Gotta Find the Silver Lining Where You Can!

I'm so excited! I recently went to a Parental Leave workshop offered by my school board. And although I was definitely the oldest woman in the room (including the presenter!) it was still so exciting to be sitting in a room full of expectant parents, and finally being one of them! I found out some interesting information regarding my leave which will work in my favour I hope, allowing me to start my leave in September. Because adoption leave is shorter than maternity leave, 35 weeks as opposed to 52 weeks, if I started my leave in June or July when I travel, I would use up a good portion of my leave during a time when I am already on vacation and wouldn't be at work anyway. So, the good news is, it appears I can start my leave later, in September, giving me the full 35 weeks. Finally something goes my way! :) Since only a few months ago I thought I would be travelling now and things have slowed down even more, this is a little silver lining to the extra bit of waiting! Gotta find it where I can!

The Agony and the Ecstasy

Still waiting for news on the next set of files being matched and referrals being sent. Waiting for news this month feels like torture. It seems like it is taking forever. It's not, it just feels like it! China only sends out referrals about once a month, but not quite, sometimes it's longer than a month between batches, for a total of 10 or 11 batches a year. So I know in my head it is still too early to expect to hear rumours about the next batch, but I can't help checking the website every morning and night, just in case. This next set of referrals will tell a lot I hope. They finished with August 21 last month and there is no one (we think) with log-in dates for the most of the remainder of August, until about August 28th or 29th. So.... they should be able to finish August with this next set of referrals. And you all know what comes after August don't you?? SEPTEMBER!!!!!! And that means me!!!!!!! September has a lot of people logged in so it is going to be a slow trek, we may see only some 1 or 2 day batches over the next couple of months, but at least I will still be moving closer to my date.

At church this morning, the priest talked about the agony and the ecstasy of daily life. It really struck a chord with me. I feel like this whole journey has been an experience in agony and ecstasy. Each day feels like that! What the wait has done to me emotionally and then the excitement of what is to come. The agony of small batches or skipped months with no referrals and the surprising excitement of big batches with lots of referrals. The wait of not getting things ready too soon and the excitement of panicking about not being ready. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster at an amusement park and can't get off. Somebody stop the ride!!! I'm ready for something quiet like the swan ride!